First of all, congratulations to bloggers Emily and Sabrina who both announced this week that they’re each pregnant with their first child.
But if this leaves you thinking that you’re the only one without a bun in the oven, don’t despair—I’m here to assure you that I’m not pregnant.
I might go to the bathroom an average of 40 times a day, but shockingly I’m not pregnant.
I might cry at awkward movie moments like Wolverine stabbing Phoenix at the end of X3, but shockingly I’m not pregnant.
I might need to let out some of my pants after the holiday season, but shockingly I’m not pregnant.
I might pop chocolate chips like they’re Tic Tacs, but shockingly I’m not pregnant.
I might wake up with sore hips and legs, but shockingly I’m not pregnant.
I might not sleep for longer than 2 hours at any time, but shockingly I’m not pregnant.
I might only have alcohol when I cook with it as in Balsamic Brussel Sprouts with Red Wine, but shockingly I’m not pregnant.
I might constantly be eating for 2(or 3), but shockingly I’m not pregnant.
*No babies were made in the production of this post*
HA. This list makes me laugh. And since I do many of the same things, it also makes me slightly scared for when I actually AM pregnant. I’m going to be insane.
hero.
Good, I’m not either 😛 Haha you’re hilarious.
hahaha! You’re too funny =D
Lol…yeah, there’s something in the blogger water lately. The only baby I have is the food baby leftover from our vacation indulgences.
A little English major would be so cute. You could dress him in a tiny suit and read him Chaucer for a bedtime story!
fabulous post. you rock!
Aaaahh, I was waiting for this post, after the conversation going on via Twitter. You knocked it up..errr, I mean out 🙂
Hahahahaaha!!! This made me LOL for real. That’s hilarious. Shockingly, I’m not pregnant, either, yet do almost all the same things. Too funny! It’s like I’ve been practicing being pregnant all my life. When I actually am I’ll probably normalize.
This post made me laugh, and it needed a good laugh today. 🙂
I. love. this. post.
I eat so much now, my boyfriend always wonders how much our grocery bill will be when I’m “eating for two”, he’s probably going to have to get a second job 🙂
GAH
love.love.love.this.
if you were pregnant though, i wouldn’t be surprised. you show all the symptoms….bahahaha! well, except that you’re missing a key body part…lol
Love this! My husband was complaining about his food baby last night, if that counts.
PHEW! I was worried there…
lol i love this post. i’m not pregnant either and never will be! i’m actually quite happy about this and so is my husband!
Hahaa this was hilarious 😉
I am carrying our food baby. Any ideas for names?
As a happily not pregnant woman with a million pregnant friends, this post just made my day. Thank you so so much.
I’m not pregnant either, and it’s a good thing — I laughed SO HARD at this that I probably would have gone into early labor.
Haha! I’m displaying all of these symptoms too… unfortunately it’s only a food baby!
lol, i was just thinking that everyone and their mother is getting pregnant now! so funny. good to hear you’re not one of them. 🙂
Evan you are fantastic!
I’m not pregnant either although I have some “pregnancy” symptoms. Bring on the chocolate chips. 🙂
I love this post and if you are ever a dad-to-be, you already have SUCH a huge grasp of what being pregnant is like, your future baby’s mama thanks you 🙂
Shockingly, i am NOT pregnant either. And have no plans to be. Shockingly I threw up 10 times a day, every single day, for 7 months. They say pregnancy is the “best time of a woman’s life”…no. I beg to differ but Skylar was worth every heave-worthy second 🙂
I’m not pregnant either, and have no intention to be for a very, very, VERY long time. *Tosses back another birth control pill.*
Hilarious.
And thank you!
Haha Evan, are you SURE you’re not pregnant??
Yeah, I made a comment on twitter about how I came home from a three-course dinner to eat a peanut butter topped bagel and half a block of chocolate, and someone assumed I was pregnant. Unless I’m giving birth to our next Saviour… not possible!
Ha!
Very clever 🙂
I certainly hope not, how would you get it out!?
No pregnancy here either.
haaa… it’s really funny you say this… I have another blog in my reader called WannaBe Chef, and she announced a while ago that she is pregnant… after your name change, for a while I would mix the two blogs up, and I was thinking WOW, Evan is having a baby! 🙂
LOL!!! Even though I may have peed myself a little while reading this, I’m not preggers either.
this is cracking me up 🙂
Hahahaha! Don’t worry Evan, I’m not pregnant either.
This cracks me up! Best list ever 🙂
hahahahahaha. ditto. to all the above – especially the NOT being pregnant thing 🙂
Haha, Evan, this is so funny! 😀 This totally made my day. 🙂
The key word here is yet… Pigs could fly perhaps?
Thanks for bringing the laughs Evan!
Hahaha! Hilarious! Love it!